During middle age, the changes in a woman’s life are many. Fertility is lost, hormonal changes cause various issues in everyday life, children leave the family home, aging begins to show its signs even more, and parents die. It’s no surprise, then, that women’s relationships and sex drive take a back seat and slowly begin to wane. After a while, many women feel that they have completely lost their sexuality.
So how can this conclusion be challenged and overturned? American gynecologist Susan Hardwick-Smith, MD reports that there are ways for a woman to have the best sex of her life in her 40s, 50s, and even 60s and beyond. It does not matter how she feels at the moment, but she realizes that her sexual status has not been lost.
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In a related research she conducted, the specialist studied more than 1,000 women aged 45-65 and discovered that 7% of middle-aged women have a satisfactory sex life and relationships. And because this percentage may seem small, Dr. Hardwick-Smith suggests six ways to awaken a woman’s sexuality and enjoy sex after 50.
1. Change what you thought about sex
For many people, sex is all about penetration. The truth is, however, that close physical contact plays a more important role – especially from a certain age onwards. Physical contact is key to healthy relationships, and penetration isn’t always a pleasant way to express it. In fact, only 4 out of 10 women regularly orgasm through penetration.
Indeed, during the hormonal and physical changes that occur in middle-aged women, penetration can often become difficult, if not impossible. There are countless ways for a woman to express herself through physical contact, the only stipulation being that any choice pleases both parties.
2. Prioritize connection
As we get older, it becomes harder and harder to achieve orgasm, and when that’s the end goal, it can cause stress and disconnection that prevents physical intimacy. So instead of having that on your mind, focus on connecting with your partner. The process of bonding can be just as pleasurable as orgasm, as the two partners develop and further develop their physical intimacy.
3. Seek adventure
Research shows that the most reliable way for a woman to orgasm after 50 is through sex aids, so it’s probably time to give it a try regardless of whether or not you have a sexual partner. Women need more stimulation as they get older, and they also benefit from discovering new types of stimulation.
4. Love yourself
An extremely important element for middle-aged women with an active love life is to be comfortable in their own skin and body and to know what they like and what they don’t like when it comes to sex. Changes in body and sexual anatomy are inevitable as we grow older, especially after children are born. That’s why it’s important to accept these changes and feel content and deeply connected to ourselves. Otherwise, the connection with the partner we mentioned above is impossible.
5. Tune in to your spirituality
The research of Dr. Hardwick-Smith confirmed a connection between mental state and sexual satisfaction. Spirituality is different for each person and varies between God, yoga, meditation, and nature. But the essence of it all is a deep understanding of connection to something greater, based on love, communication, and compassion. Bitterness is the number 1 cause of loss of libido for women, so forgiveness and repairing relationships are key to a healthy, sexually fulfilling life after 50.
6. Communicate and Show Your Purpose
Intentionally create small, everyday moments with your partner to keep the flame alive between you. Even a small movement can make a difference in passion levels. When, for example, you give your partner your full attention even for a minute, it means that you care about their happiness, and this communication increases the desire for physical contact.
